


It's Complicated

by chamilet



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 11:08:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20226856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chamilet/pseuds/chamilet
Summary: What do you do when you bump into the one person you thought you'd never see again?





	It's Complicated

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GettingGreyer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GettingGreyer/gifts).

> This was supposed to be smut with a bit of plot, but it turned into plot with a hint that there might have been smut. Apologies.

The Doctor took a deep breath and slipped the ring on her finger. She closed her eyes and listened as her second heartbeat faded away. “Am I really going to do this?” she thought. “Am I this selfish?”   


_ She bumped into the woman with the glorious head of curls, nearly knocking both of them to the ground. “Oh, I’m sorry. Bit of a clutz, me.” The Doctor steadied them both. _

_ “No damage done.” There was a smile in the woman’s voice. _

_ That voice. The Doctor would recognize it anywhere. She drew her focus away from the man she’d been chasing and actually looked at the woman she still partially held in her arms. “Oh.” _

_ “Oh?” River laughed. “I must admit I’m usually not so underwhelming.” _

_ The Doctor smiled. “Oh no. I was--. There was--” She pointed in front of her and then wrinkled her nose and waved her hand. “Nevermind.” _

_ “Tongue-tied.” River smiled widely. “Now that’s more like it. Professor River Song.” She held out her hand. _

_ The Doctor shook River’s hand and just continued smiling. _

_ “And now dumbstruck,” River continued with a grin. “Cute-woman-with-no-name, now that we’ve been formally introduced would you like to go out to dinner or something?” _

_ “We’ve only just met.” The Doctor found her voice. _

_ “So that’s a ‘no’ on dinner then?” River ran her hands down the woman’s arms and pulled away. “Shame.” _

_ “NO. No. Umm, no. I mean yes. Dinner would be good, er, great! I love food.” _

_ River laughed. “Well that’s good. There’s a place around the corner that’s supposed to serve the best Thai food on Earth. Do you like Thai?” _

_ “I’m sure I do.” _

_ “You mean you don’t know?”   
_

_ “This body--er, I mean, I’ve never tried it. But I like food.” _

_ River couldn’t help but laugh. “So you said a moment ago.” She looked at her watch. “Does ten o’clock suit you? Or is that a bit late? I have to pop back home and drop off my students’ assignments, freshen up…” _

_ “Ten is great.” The Doctor smiled again. “I should probably go back to the…,” she pointed behind her, “home and change.” _

_ “You don’t have to. I like this.” River put her hands back on the woman’s arms. “This casual rainbow suspenders, hooded coat, boots-thing you have going on. It’s unique.” _

_ “I’m nothing if not unique.” The Doctor agreed. “Ummm, Jane, by the way.” _

_ “Sorry?” _

_ “Jane Smith...my name.” _

_ “Well, Jane Smith. I’ll see you at ten.” _

And now, here the Doctor was, about to enjoy the company of her wife, drink her in, memorize her with new eyes, and maybe more--with River there was always most likely going to be more. She was the most intoxicating person the Doctor had ever met and she missed her so much. If River propositioned her, she’d be helpless to resist.

And so the ring was a necessity. If they were going to be so intimately together, River could never know. “Spoilers,” the Doctor said sadly to the reflection in the mirror.

~~DWDWDW~~

"JANE!"

Yasmin saw a woman across the street waving in their direction. "Doctor. I think that woman's trying to get your attention. But who's Jane?"

The Doctor looked up and panicked, ever so slightly. "Ahhhh, yes. Can you hang on a tic? I'll be right back."

"Sure." Yaz looked up at the Doctor and smiled.

Yaz watched the Doctor cross the street and hug the woman that had called out to her. The woman laughed and held something in between her fingers. The Doctor grinned and held out her hand, catching the item as it was dropped. They talked for a few more moments and then the lady with the amazing hair pointed in her direction and the Doctor nodded her head, although to Yaz, she looked a bit worried. As they walked back across the street, Yaz could see that the Doctor was putting her earring back in her ear. How did the lady get her earring? She caught their conversation as they came closer.

"You're lucky I found you. I don't normally come this way in the morning, but  _ someone _ kept me up most of the night and I didn't even have time to make my own coffee." The woman winked at the Doctor and the Doctor actually blushed. Yasmin began to put two and two together. She tried and failed to suppress a wave of jealousy.

"So how do you know the--"

"Yaz," the Doctor interrupted. "This is my friend, River Song."

River held out her hand. "Glad to meet you, Yaz. I hear you and Jane have been on quite the adventure here."

Yasmin was confused. "Who--"

The Doctor interrupted her again. "Yes. We almost caught the man who made off with our things last night when I bumped into you. We think we might have a lead today."

“Well, don’t let me interrupt you.” River smiled. “I hope we bump into one another again before your business here is done. Maybe Yaz would like to come along.” River winked at Yaz and Yaz felt her face burning. 

The Doctor just stood there with her mouth hanging open. “You are just…”

“I know. I’m a bad girl. Always have been.” She turned to Yasmin. “Sorry, Yaz. It was a pleasure to meet you, but I’ve got to run.”

The Doctor and Yasmin stared after River as she disappeared around the next corner on her way.

“Well, that was somethin’.” The Doctor avoided looking at Yasmin.

“Wasn’t it just.” Yasmin agreed. Her voice was cheerful enough, but the Doctor could tell there would be hell to pay later.

~~~DWDWDW~~~

“Don’t walk away from me. We need to talk.” Yasmin jogged to keep up with the Doctor as she made her way to their bedroom. “You need to see a proper doctor or something. When he shot you with that laser, something’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine.” The Doctor took off her earring and ring and laid them on the dresser.

Yasmin stalked over to her and placed her hand on her chest. “No, something’s wrong. Hang on.” Yasmin moved her hand over to the other side of the Doctor’s chest, the act still intimate even in its clinicalness. Yasmin stepped back and looked over to the dresser.

“That ring.” Yaz pointed at the band of gold sitting on the dresser. “I thought something was wrong. Your second heartbeat was gone. And now it’s back.”

“It’s a device. Masks a Time Lord’s heartbeat if they need to pass as a being that only has one. I wore it while I was with River. I’m sorry that I scared you.”

“Why did you need to do that? She seemed up for anythin’. Even two heartbeats.” Yasmin blushed as she recalled River’s earlier proposition.

“I couldn’t let her know I was a Time Lord. Couldn’t take a chance.”

“Chance what? What are you even on about?” Yaz was starting to get upset with her lover for being so evasive. “What aren’t you telling me?”

The Doctor was silent.

“Maybe if you told me, I’d understand why you cheated on me.” Yaz felt herself tearing up and mentally chastised herself. She was angry, why was she crying?

“River was my wife,” the Doctor said quietly.

“What?”

“She’s my wife. I was selfish. I wanted to be with her one last time. But she couldn’t know it was me, alright?”

“Oh great. So I’m the other woman now,” Yaz snapped, then the Doctor’s words sunk in. “What do you mean ‘one last time’?” Yaz looked up and saw the anguish on the Doctor’s face. “Doctor, why couldn’t you tell her who you were?” She sat down on their bed. “I mean, she’s your wife and I’m just a girl who got swept away by a magical being in a glorious blue box. You should have brought her along with us, or dropped me off, even, gone off with her alone.”

“It’s way more complicated than that, Yaz.” The Doctor looked up, tears in her eyes. “And you’re not just a girl, never say that. None of my fam have ever been ‘just’ anythin’.” The Doctor reached out to Yasmin, but Yaz stood up and pulled away.

“Don’t. I need air. I need to think.”

“Okay.” The Doctor stepped back and put her hands in her pockets. “My life’s complicated, Yaz. Always has been, always will be. I’ve lived for hundreds of years. Thousands, even, if living the same day over and over again counts.”

“But you said your family was gone. A long time ago. That’s what you said.”

“River has been gone. A long time. For me, she’s been dead for thousands of years. I never expected to see her again, certainly didn’t expect to run into her.”

“None of what your saying even makes sense. She’s not dead. She’s right here. Where we are.” Yasmin ran her hand over her face.

“Like I said. Complicated. She travels in time, too. We’ve always had to be careful that we didn’t do something to mess things up, make it so we never met. So we used to compare diaries, back when I was the Doctor she loved. Now, she doesn’t know me and she can’t. I can’t take that chance, but I loved her too much to just walk away when she wanted to be with me. This me. I’m sorry that I hurt you in the process.”

Yasmin was crying now. “I just need to take a walk or something. Figure this out. I’ll be back in a bit when my head’s clearer.”

“Okay,” The Doctor said softly.

~~~DWDWDW~~~

“How did you find me?” River didn’t seem surprised to find Yasmin at her door. Yasmin, however, was surprised to find River in only a towel.

“I’m a police officer. I’m good at tracking people down.” Yasmin sniffed, her face still damp from the tears she couldn’t stop from falling.

“Well, come in then.” River opened her door wider and Yasmin entered the small flat. “I’m sorry about what I said earlier. My mouth does get away from me at times. I hope I didn’t cause a rift?” River offered Yasmin a tissue.

Yasmin wiped her eyes and blew her nose and threw the tissue in the trash. “What do you mean, ‘a rift’?”

“You’ve sought me out. You’re at my door, crying. What conclusion should I come to, my dear?”

“I don’t know why I came here. I shouldn’t be. I shouldn’t be talking to you at all.”

“Does Jane have a jealous streak?” River removed the towel from her body and wrapped her hair in it. She put on a robe. “She didn’t seem the type.”

Yasmin found herself blushing through her tears. “She wouldn’t be jealous that I’m here. She’d be angry. Worried. Somethin’.“

“Then why  _ are _ you here?” River finished applying her moisturizer and undid the towel from her hair.

“I don’t know. She was just so sad. I wanted to make it better but I don’t know how. Don’t know if I can.”

“Why is she sad?” Although she said it with a smile, River wasn’t able to mask the concern in her voice. “And why are you here telling me? She only just met me. You’ve only just met me.”

Yasmin huffed in frustration. “But she hasn’t though. She’s your wife. I mean, your husband!” Yaz took a breath and started again. “I mean, she’s the Doctor.”

River took a deep breath. “I know.” All pretenses dropped, she smiled a bittersweet smile.

“What do you mean ‘I know’? How can you know? And if you know, why aren’t you marching up to her and demanding to go with us? Don’t you love her?”

“So many questions.” River ran a comb through her damp curls and looked at Yaz’ reflection in the mirror. “I’ve met many regenerations of the Doctor and sometimes I’ve had to hide from them who I am because there are timelines to be preserved and things that have to happen and things that can’t be known. I assume if she’s hiding her identity from me, it’s one of those times and I know not to press. I just cherish the night we spent together and then I have to move on.”

“How can you do that though?” Yaz’ voice cracked. “How can you just leave her and move on?”

River stopped combing her hair. “You’re in love with her, aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yes. No. I don’t know.” A fresh wave of tears overtook her.

River came over to Yaz on the bed, sat down beside her and took her into her arms. “Oh, don’t cry, don’t cry.” River stroked her hair and kissed her head. “Obviously you love her or this wouldn’t be tearing you up like this.”

“Why can’t you just be together? She’s sad. You’re sad. It just doesn’t make any sense. You could be happy.”

“Shhhh. Shhhh. Shhhh, dear. It’s okay that we’re sad right now. We’re sad because we were so happy, but our time together is over. We had twenty-four years together and--”

Yaz looked up. “Twenty-four years? How old are you? Surely you weren’t a teenager when she married you?”

River laughed. “Flattery will get you everywhere, dear.”

“No, really. You can’t have had twenty-four years with her and then just...left.”

“No, it wasn’t twenty-four years with your Doctor. But I did have twenty-four years with a wonderfully crotchety old man with magnificent eyebrows who looked at me like I hung the moon. And I’m sure I looked at him the same. But when the sun came up, it was our time. No one can have forever, Yaz. You just cherish what you do get.”

A fresh wave of tears broke over Yaz and she cried as if her heart would break.

River walked back over to her dresser and applied her lipstick, then came back over and took Yaz into her arms. “Shhhhh, dear, shhhh. It’s going to be alright.” She rubbed her back. “Look at me.” She put a finger underneath Yaz’ chin and tilted her head upwards. “You’re going to be alright and I’m going to be alright and the Doctor is going to be alright. Do you hear me?”

Yaz nodded and sniffled. River pulled her close and kissed her, whispering into her mouth. “You’re going to take care of the Doctor for me, right?”

Yaz returned the kiss, closing her eyes and breathing in the jasmine of River’s perfume. Her head swam with it. “Yes, I will. I’ll do my best.”

“Good girl.” River eased her down onto the bed. “Just rest here for a little while, and then you can freshen up and head back.”

“Okay,” Yasmin said sleepily.

River kissed her once again for good measure, then brushed the hair off of her face and wiped the tear tracks from her cheeks. “Rest well and forget all this sadness. The Doctor and I had a good run. Now it’s your turn.”

River packed her things quietly, sent an email to the University with her student’s final grades and one to her landlord letting him know there would be a transfer to his account in the morning with her last month’s rent plus a little extra. With one last look back at Yasmin’s sleeping form, she brushed a stray tear from her cheek and left.

**Author's Note:**

> I really had intended to write some smut for this fest, but the plot ran away from me. I may write a little River/Thirteen interlude in the future.


End file.
